Every time I get on Mega Bus or into my ride's car after a visit home I get that feeling like I thought there was another step at the bottom of a staircase. That feeling like where my stomach just jolts a bit and I feel off. I wonder "why am I leaving a place that feels so good?" I know why. Its because I am absolutely head over heels in love with the home I grew up in. This love is completely unconditional (the cat gives me the itchiest face and my parents keep it so cold) but I love it. I can be myself in my house, I can make bad jokes in my house, my house has Big Blue (a 20 year old cotton comforter my brother and I fight over when we're home) my house also has a smell that I can never replicate. Oh and not to mention when I got home I get to see my Mom, Dad, and brother who just happen to be the most incredible most lovable people in the world. UGGGHHHH! Like I said, totally in love. It has my heart forever. I cannot imagine my life without that place.
But in September of 2004 we started a long distance relationship. Me and my home wanted different things. I wanted to perform and have more opportunities, but my house just wanted to sit there. I was like "maybe if I come home every weekend its like we can still make this work?" But it didn't. Then I thought maybe if I just stay in Chicago long enough I will hate it and want to be with my house. But I don't hate Chicago. Then I thought if am away long enough, when I go back to my house I will think its not as great, the spark will die. But I just went home and the spark is still there.
So I decided I would leave a piece of my heart there. If I can't physically pick up my house and move it to wherever my life takes me then a part of me has to stay with it. WE CAN'T BREAK UP! I don't know what we would do without each other.
Where is your heart?! What place do you consider home? Is it an actual place or a community? Do you feel like you lost a sense of home?
Loved the Live Stream you guys are so Wonderful :)
my yard....ugh love
A few weeks ago I stumbled upon one of the most riveting, inspiring, and haunting documentaries I've ever encountered. The following is an 8 min interview with Philip Gould entitled "When I Die". In the film, Gould shares his thoughts and insights as he confronts his impending death from oesophageal cancer.
Truth be told, I was nervous about posting this video because it addresses, rather bluntly, the inevitabilty of death and dying. For most people, myself included, death is a truly terrifying thing to think about. Yet, in the interview, Philip manages to paint an intimate portrait of dying and bravely speaks about learning to embrace his fear.
What terrifies you most? How do you hope to embrace and learn from the things that make you most vulnerable?
I'm afraid I don't have much to say that could be "inspiring" today; there are so many things in my brain. Lately my brain is an overwhelming place--anyone else feel that now and then? Sometimes when my mind gets too full I want to just sit and blast music in mah face...then I feel like that would be "wasting time". But today, rather than fight it, I'm going to take a break to do that. A small break to enjoy yourself in the midst of craziness is nothing to feel guilty about--it's a necessity.
Any other Robyn fans out there? She is an inspiration to me on so many levels; plus she wears craycray pants and shoes and HI I WANT HER HAIR OK?!
This is one of my favorite songs of hers. Her music pierces my heart even when it's a dancey song with phat beatz. To me, she is a shining example of honesty and soul. Plus, she has some great girl power anthemy (that's a word, look it up) songs.
I hope you enjoy! (if it's not your thang, that's ok too!)
Do you ever get overwhelmed by your brain? If so, how do you respond?
Sometimes we can feel guilty for indulging in a simple pleasure when there is so much work to be done--do you ever deal with this?
I heard a story recently that struck me. It goes like this:
Long, long ago people walked the earth with immense power, dignity, grace, wisdom, and knowledge. They could create realities for themselves, conquer their greatest challenges and fears, and accomplish amazing things. But the gods grew angry and felt that the people were beginning to take advantage of their great powers, sometimes using them for bad instead of good. So the gods decided they needed to hide the power.
Where did they hide it? Not on the highest mountain, for someday someone would certainly find it there. Not in the deepest ocean, for or course eventually someone would search the ocean floors.
The gods hid the power in the hearts of every man, woman and child... for certainly they would never think to look inside themselves.
Simple... but we all can connect to that story right? Sometimes we look everywhere else for our happiness, security, and power. But it is inside all of us, always.
"There is a force within that gives you life - Seek that. In your body there lies a priceless jewel - Seek that. Oh, wandering One, if you are in search of the greatest treasure, don't look outside. Look within, and seek That." - Rumi, was a Sufi Mystic & Poet.
Where in your life could you spend a little more time trusting what is inside of you, rather than searching for it on the outside?
Last year President Barack Obama gave the graduation commencement speech at Michigan Stadium. He talked about how he tries to read 15-20 letters every night and one night he came across letters from a 2nd grade class. Some of them were hilarious like "do you live next to a volcano?" But the one that stuck out to him was a child that wrote "Are people nice to you?"
This letter stuck out to him most because it was very personal. The answer was no. Obama spoke about how people in government get so passionate and opinionated that they forget to address their fellow officials with respect and courtesy. He said it's like people in Washington (capital) forgot that they are people and who they speak to are also people.....with feelings! He also pointed out that if we look at people with compassion and kindness we can understand their point of view or at least view them as human beings and not "enemies" or "obstacles." The President continued to speak about how he felt today's society lacks overall decorum and tact.
This is NOT meant to be a political post and I respect peoples' opinions and believes. However, I thought there was something here that we could all relate to on a higher level. Do you feel like, generally, people seem comfortable being mean? Do you think "nice" is a trait is valued in society?
Again, a million thanks to your participation :) MONDAYS!
Whew! TGIVF, amiright?!
Thanks to y'all, we had another awesome week here at glow*.
As always, you had some beautiful, insightful and inspiring things to say. Here is just a mere sampling of some of your greatness this week:
"Once you realise your power, the world's your oyster and make sure you NEVER relinquish that power." – Tori
"...we let so many people have the power to shape who we are and what we believe about ourselves and none of it is true unless we say it is." – Addie
"As well as being about community and inspiration and positive thoughts and helping others it's also about being the best YOU you can be" – Kayln
"I always make sure I have something to look forward to. When you think on the bright side, (almost) nothing is sad!" – Emily
"It's good to face life's crazy curve balls with a smile and a "batter up!" – megan W
"I also like to go for a walk. oh and eat, I love eating, its like my favourite thing to do ahah.". – Jessica
"I think we need time for ourselves sometimes. Time when we just sit down, and listen." - Kristina
"So hurray for trying new things, and stepping out of comfort zones. If a lot of girls around the world take small leaps, we just may shake the world a little. And what's life worth if we don't take a little risk?" – Elizabeth P
"...So I always try to set aside a little time, whether it be in the shower, going for a walk, or just laying in bed for a while, to stop and reconnect with me. It's surprising how much you have to tell yourself after a long day ;)" - Daly
So tell us:
What are your hopes for the weekend?
What are your hopes for next week at glow*? Anything in particular you'd like to see/read/discuss? Let us know!
Have a fabulous weekend!
Lauren, Jaime, Denise, Julia
And that's OK :)
We have all, at one point or another, suffered from what we refer to as "loneliness". Society it seems, is afraid of alonedom.
Despite growing up an only child, I am still learning everyday how to find joy and serenity in alonedom. It's surprisingly harder than it sounds.
Recently though, I have come to realize that at the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. Sure, we all have people who know us well, but in reality YOU are the only one who knows everyone and everything that has ever entered your life. YOU are your oldest and most intimate companion.
That being said, how well do you know YOU? When was the last time you hung out with YOU (and enjoyed it)?
Today I challenge you to spend time with YOU. Share secrets, have an adventure, craft some inside jokes with YOURSELF.
Teach YOURSELF how to be alone.
....I have a feeling YOU will be good buddys.
The following is a spoken word poem that offers some wonderful insight on the hidden beauty that is alonedom...
My brain crashed this past weekend. Like a computer, it crashed. The spinning rainbow wheel of death kept interrupting my work. In fact, in rehearsal one day I stopped mid-sentence and someone said to me "Oh man... did you just stall?!"
Yep. Stalled, froze, all circuits were at overload.
I realized I hadn't been giving myself the right kind of discipline and love to remain peaceful and happy even in the midst of busy times.
Sometimes you have to work at having it all; good relationships, fulfilling work, and peace, joy and laughter.
It's ok to give yourself a bedtime and stick to it. It's ok to turn off the technology past a certain hour and read a book instead.
It's also ok to say a loving "no" to certain things so that you can say a more effectual "yes" to other things.
Put in the work for your peace and happiness, that way you'll keep going even when things get rough, and the busy gets busier.
Love you more than a bike ride on the beach :)
Ok, so I was watching Game of Thrones...
DISCLAIMER: Game of Thrones is violent and has graphic content. DO NOT WATCH! Unless your parents say it's ok or you're old-ish and you are not grossed out easily.
Anyway, I was like "what am I going to glowst tomorrow?' and it literally played out on screen! One character told the other a riddle (I am paraphrasing btw) "A king, a priest, a rich man, and a swordsman are at a table...who has the power?" Both characters debated for a while. Eventually, you learn was a trick question. "who ever you believe has the power ." Wow. I never thought about power like this, it seems so obvious. What we believe has the power, has the power. Crazy! It's that simple!
I honestly got overwhelmed thinking about how I believed certain people had power over my life that aren't even in it anymore! I have let people make me feel weak, insecure, vulnerable, sad.....and I gave them the power to do that because, at the time, I BELIEVED them. What if I didn't? What if I just told them "No! You are wrong. I don't believe you." I would have felt a lot freer...... I admit that I gave some people this power for years when really I could have just believed in myself. I should have fought for myself. If you truly believe you are great, you are! If you really believe you have a calling, you do! If you believe that you have the power and control over yourself, you do. We cannot control everything, but the one thing we completely conquer and own is ourselves.
Is there something that has power over you ? Have you had to regain power over something or someone?
I LOVE this place! Thank you so much for all of your great comments and helping me see things clearer :)
This has power over me.
I'd like to start by saying how incredibly proud and blessed I am to be part of the glow* community. In regard to yesterday's post, the outpouring of responses was overwhelming and really quite special.
Overall, the final verdict was a resounding "NAY" from almost everyone. Therefore, it looks as though the live event will have to be postponed for another day in our collective near future.
Yet, to all these "NAY"s I simply say "YAY"! Why? Because over the course of 24 hours we (as a community) managed to connect to hundreds of women across the WORLD and show our support for each other. If nothing else, I'd like us to think of yesterday's responses as a "show of hands" that revealed just how many girls out there are listening and here to support us ALL.
At it's core, glow* is a collective motley crew of women and girls from all walks of life. Yet, the beauty of this community is that we can all feel connected even though, physically, we may be miles (and seas!) away from one another.
So again, thank you for raising your hand yesterday and making your presence known. Regarding yesterday's post, attendance was 100% and I'm so very happy you were ALL able to show up.
On behalf of all the glow* girls we promise to at least hold a U stream event that will be accessible for everyone. Please stay tuned for more information about that little ditty.
Thank you again, we love you, you love you!
aaaand now.... PUPPIES in onesies!
Jaime, Lauren, Denise, & Julia